18 & Lost? So Were We
nine stories show there’s no perfect path after high school
The Story Behind the Book: Inspiration, Origin & Process
The genesis of this book was as an idea my friend Scott had around 2019, which was to collate people’s advice to their younger selves.
Scott, a high school friend of mine, became interested in this through his conversations with first year students at the university where he worked part time. We had also been involved in friend Nick’s nonprofit work beforehand, an opportunity which brought us to visit Nepal several times, exposing us to a different way of life and prompting us to become a lot more introspective. It made us question things and ask questions about the journey after high school—what experiences bring us the most benefit, compared to what experiences we are normalised into.
Come 2020 and the advent of COVID, I had both more time and interest in working in Careers & Education. That’s how Scott’s book idea circled back around. Our idea was not only to make a resource that could be helpful for any readers, but also the people making it. We would bring together a group of people and each would contribute a chapter. After attending a friend’s retreat before his podcast launch that year, (Andrew Riis, Hello Stranger) I thought it would be neat to do the same.
Come August 2020, we ran a retreat for a small group of people who would go on to be the co-authors of 18 & Lost? So Were We—nine stories show there’s no perfect path after high school. None of these people were mega-successful or authors—they were, for lack of a better word, every day young people. Their stories were organic and relatable—ranging from Gab, an 18-year-old to Jordan, the oldest at 27. There was also Marvin, Tylah, Joshua, Byron, Scott and myself.
Instead of collecting other people’s advice, the group thought it would be better to tell our own stories. That we did. I took on the mantle of head author slash writing ‘advisor’—not that I was a writing expert, but I’d picked up a few things in my writing journey up to that point. We set a one month deadline (which we shifted around a bit) and had weekly check-ins. We were off.
I did a full write-up on the process behind this book, with everything from how we structured the book and writing experience for the first-time authors, to designing the cover, editing, marketing and all aspects of the experience. Full details on the journey can be found in this write-up.
Each chapter tells one of our stories from the time between finishing high school and writing the chapter—acknowledging we were all still early in our journeys. There’s Jordan and his dramatic incident in Africa, Marvin and how he came to choose engineering after high school, Tylah’s journey with self-abandonment, Bryon who opted not to go to university, and Gab’s story about her first year out of high school.
Many chapters have little reflection prompts and exercises, which come from each author’s reflection on what would have been useful to them when they were younger.
This book came together comparatively quickly and was self-published the following year in 2021, where it made it onto the Australian Amazon BestSeller’s List, reaching No. 4.
Reception and ‘Who is this book good for?’
We have been blessed to receive positive feedback on this book from people from all ages—from young people who found it helpful to those older and later in life.
People often joke, ‘When are you doing 25 & Lost? Tell me when you’ve done 33 & Lost… There should be a 50 & Lost!’ I take that to mean that feeling ‘lost’ is very cyclical and nothing to be ashamed of. Boy, having turned thirty not long before writing this component, I often feel as I did in my ‘three dead years’ from 18-21. It’s hard to ever have total certainty in your path, and that might be a good thing. I think being ‘lost’ can be attributed to many different things, one of them being a very important evolving or course correction in our life path, which by design requires a period of uncertainty.
Anyway, in terms of who this book is good for, I think it’s been good for a lot of parents to understand what sort of things their child might be going through.
Typically, the average 18-year-old is not desperate to grab this book—I actually predicted, and think I was right in saying, it has a better reception amongst people in their early 20’s. Ironically, I think the average 18-year-old would get more benefit from a book called ‘25 & Lost?’ The reasoning is, we all need to experience life for ourselves and can’t really be told what to do. At eighteen there is usually a lot of excitement for certain freedoms that come from leaving high school, and despite not knowing what to do, there is often a sense of conviction with a specific plan or narrative we have in mind for ourselves. After a couple of years, when those narratives and self-directed experiments have been broken in a bit by the complexity of the outside world, there’s more room for reflection.
I see the value being in reflection, not prescription. Prescription is telling people what to do. Reflection is looking at what’s happened, making some sort of assessment, and incorporating that assessment into how you move forward. That’s what I think this book is a tool for.
Here’s the Amazon Link to the book for Australia. You can also redirect to the appropriate link for your country.
Testimonials & Reviews
If you’re after reviews, we’re blessed to have a few on Amazon. Here’s my pick of the bunch:
Paul
5.0 out of 5 stars Important book about an important time
University worked out well for me, but that was probably a result of good luck rather than good planning. I did a degree I didn’t really care about and stuck with it because I couldn’t imagine the alternative. However, because of that, I landed a job that I love.
This book is important for young people who are told they must map out the rest of their lives at 18. It encourages the reader to think – to really, critically think – about what is important to them. I really related to the feelings noted in the “dead years,” and I often wonder what else I could have been doing and the things that I could have achieved.
If nothing else, I expect that young readers will be inspired to know that the world is their oyster, which means that the future is theirs to determine. People don’t need to do what has been done before, what is normal, or what is “right,” and everything will (probably) still turn out fine.
5.0 out of 5 stars Mireille
As a mum of three teenage boys , reading this book gave me a great insight and possibly a wake up call as to the pressures we may place on our children to take such a structured path.
In typical style , you work hard for an atar, head to university and work in the field you studied in the hopes of success , that is in my family anyway. This book not only confirmed the many paths young people can take but the many paths they actually will take to lead them to where they are today. It’s not black and white and really doesn’t have to be at all.
As a mum , we don’t always know the inner struggles our children are facing. We stand by, we support , we encourage . But we are not able to control the lives and paths of our children and in any event it is ultimately their true happiness that prevails.
18 and lost, really allowed me to accept each of my three boys as they are and support whichever path they will decide to take in their journey of life.Highly recommend this book to children & parents !
Gwen Meyer
Among the 100’s of books I have read, this has been one of the most powerful and relatable… With lots of Practically, Applicable Gems within it. My hope is that it unlocks your audience of none, and your ability to pursue a path that is true for you. ENTERTAINING, ENLIGHTENING AND EDUCATING. It puts the fun back in Education and it is only the begining. Real and Relatable stories, that you will remember when the going is great, and when the going gets tough.
If you have read this far – JUST BUY THE BOOK ALREADY. You have nothing to loose and everything to gain… Lastly just just buy 10 – buy 1000 and give them to all the schools you know of.
Great job, Constant Student and the Team.
Jordan Staude
5.0 out of 5 stars I wish I’d read this at 18!
I loved this book, it’s so valuable to hear each author’s story and experience after leaving school – the key takeaway being that there is no perfect or ideal path! There are so many valuable insights and lessons throughout each chapter, I’d highly recommend it to all young people.
Oscar
5.0 out of 5 stars Illuminating
Phenomenal read. What 18 & Lost shows its reader with such ease is that the only path forward is not one that has been provided to us, but rather the path we have forged for ourselves. The fact that a group of first time authors were able to convey this in a simple and easy to read manner is testament to the work they put in, and the authenticity of their message. I recommended it to all my close friends.
Taryn Everdeen
5.0 out of 5 stars Right book at the right time
An essential read for EVERYONE. This book is the perfect mix of comfort and motivation, exactly what I needed to pick up right now. I found it hugely reassuring to know that I’m not alone in feeling lost, confused, and directionless. 18 & Lost? So Were We underlines that these feelings are so very normal, then offering advice – and, even better, practical tools – to help find clarity and take control of our future.It challenged the way I think about things – how do I define success? Failure? Happiness?
This is a collection of authentic stories from authentic people. The multitude of perspectives shared here is incredibly precious, each one with learnings we can take away and apply to our own lives.
This is a book that I will return to again and again, and would recommend to anyone who identifies with that feeling of uncertainty. I came away understanding myself better, some negative thoughts reframed, and with new questions to explore.
